Spaz’s character ran away in the middle of season 2, but there was some hope that she’d return in all her glory. But a source type says that Spaz is heading directly for the exit door along with Michael Pitt, Dabney Coleman and Aleksa Palladino (SPOILER ALERT: They were all killed off during the season 2 finale.)

TVLine doesn’t have any details as to why Boardwalk Empire evicted Spaz, but I’m sure that in a few days some “inside source” will say that she was difficult to work with. Spaz, difficult? That’s a “NEVER” if I’ve ever heard one. So what if Spaz probably kept the crew waiting for hours because she was riding the ghost of Elvis in her trailer and refused to stop until the spirit of Graceland moved her to do so. So what if the costumers had to spend thousands of dollars cleaning Spaz’s costume since she regularly sweat bronzer, whiskey and gutter water into them? So what if Spaz bit the cheek of the prop master, because he poured stage booze into her character’s glass instead of real booze. Spaz is an artiste to the core and that’s how they all are!

Spaz doesn’t need that stupid HBO shit anyway. Now she can devote all her time to her real passion: slowly moisturizing the sexy onto her legs for the masses.

On the sedated animatronic mannequin Lana Del Rey and how Adele needs to chase the pavement until it leads her to a Jenny Craig: “I prefer Adele and Florence Welch. But as a modern singer she is not bad. The thing at the moment is Adele. She is a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice. Lana del Rey is not bad at all. She looks very much like a modern-time singer. In her photos she is beautiful. Is she a construct with all her implants? She’s not alone with implants.”

On how the men in Russia offend his zombie eyes: “If I was a woman in Russia I would be a lesbian, as the men are very ugly. There are a few handsome ones, like Naomi Campbell’s boyfriend, but there you see the most beautiful women and the most horrible men.”

On M.I.A.’s middle finger: “Nowadays people give the middle finger quite quickly – it’s not the best behavior. Everybody does that, what’s new about that? It’s just become a bad habit. People in magazines are 50% bimbo and 50% pregnant women.”

On how Michelle Obama’s face is made of magic: “Yes he does, especially because of Mrs. Obama. I’m a big fan of Mrs. Obama – and her face, I think, is magical. He would not be there without her. Mrs. Obama is not a fashion statement, but she has other things to do. My favorite thing about Mrs Obama was when she was asked if her skirt was not too tight and she answered “Why you don’t like my big black ass?” I want [Barack] Obama to win because there is nothing better anyway, and especially because of her.”

On how you will never find him in a voting booth unless a virgin maiden he happened to be chasing ran in there to hide: “I never voted in my life. I will never vote. I know too much about politics from what’s going on backstage. To vote you have to believe all that garbage that they promise you, and they can’t keep those promises. If someone gave me an Obama pin, I would just put it on.”

So if you’re walking through a dark alley in Paris late at night and you hear a German cackle rushing up behind you, you better hope that you’re a fat, knocked up, Russian male bimbo whose middle finger is always erect, because Kunty Karl won’t dare feed on your ass.

Michael Sheen and Rachel McAdams should get their arms surgically attached to each other since they literally are never not touching each other. (Those car pictures don’t count, so don’t pass that as evidence to the defense.) – Lainey Gossip

If in the near future an episode of The Voice looks vertically stretched Promise of a New Day-style, you now know why – The Superficial

Translation: Kim Kuntrashian has already fucked her way through the NFL and the NBA, and there’s no one else to fuck. – Celebitchy

These pictures will look touching and special on the Shannon family mantel – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

You know you’re a piece of trash when Harry Potter hates you – Towleroad

Miley Cyrus’ “$20 for a blow, $30 for a lay” lot lizard look is not the look – Popoholic

At any moment of the day, you can tell yourself “James Franco is taking a picture of himself on his iPhone right now” and you’d be telling the truth – The Berry

From Teen Mom to Teen Prison Bitch – ICYDK

The full Avengers trailer is here – Just Jared

Alec Baldwin goes Tebowing – Popsugar

Introducing the favorite site of professional beard and cat lover Taylor Swift – OMG Blog

The Onion got another one – The Daily What

Oh, look, Whitney Houston is back to popping her doody bubbles with Ray-J’s crooked dick – Crunk + Disorderly

Jacksone Rathboner is going to be somebody’s father - I’m Not Obsessed

Scary Spice SANS FARDS – SOW

Give your pants to homeless kids since it’s not like you wear them anyway, you slut! – Cityrag

I am getting Goddess Bunny vibes from this and not in a good way – Hollywood Rag

(Picture via Pacific Coast News)

If your pussy has its own religion, is worshipped by billions, has been nailed repeatedly and has received gifts from wise men, then this NSFW song from DJ Pillow Queen will speak to you and your pussy on a spiritual level. Majela ZeZe Diamond, come get DJ Pillow Queen, and together you can take the Gospel According to Pussy circuit by storm!

via Jezebel

“It was very gamey. But I’m Irish, so I’m used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I’ll call it dinner.”

Note to you hos out there who can’t fap unless there’s a picture of Liam Neeson in front of you: Just throw a lot of carrots and onions on your genitals, and your fap dreams can come true!

Liam talking about eating wolf meat made its way into the ears of the full-time statement makers at PETA and so they obviously had something to say about it to The Guardian:

“Neeson’s stance on kindness to animals is sorely out of step with the rest of the world,” said Peta in a statement, insisting that wolves were in fact shy beasts unlikely to target humans rather than the predatory creatures seen in The Grey. The statement added: “Don’t just shy away. Run away from The Grey.”

Peta also criticised Carnahan for allegedly ordering wolf carcasses from a trapper for use in the film. “Many animals caught in traps chew off their own limbs in order to escape,” said spokeswoman Jane Dollinger. “These animals go on to die of gangrene or other secondary infections, sometimes leaving nursing puppies abandoned to fend for themselves.”

Wolf carcasses aside, PETA is just being PETA yet again. They’ve earned so many STUNT QUEEN crowns that they’re going to need a wider head to fit them all. Swallowing a glob of wolf meat is wrong, but swallowing a glob of chicken, cow, pig or turkey meat isn’t? Besides, how does PETA know that Liam didn’t go full method by surviving by himself in the snowy wilderness for weeks and catching wolves to eat with his bare hands, because that’s possible. But Liam and Joe should still try to get back in PETA’s good graces by pulling the movie from theaters and reshooting it entirely with Shaun Ellis playing every wolf.

And of course, to get into character, Liam’s gonna need to eat some Shaun Ellis and I don’t mean that in a cannibal kind of way (wink wink). Do they make carrot-flavored lube?

NBCDFW says that someone called the police to complain about a suspicious-looking vehicle parked in front of the church. The cops answered the call and found Randy sitting in his car. When Randy rolled the window down, the cops practically got tanked from inhaling his 100 proof wine breath. Randy had an open bottle of wine on his lap, so the cops killed his car party for one and dragged him to jail. Randy was booked on public intoxication and dried out in the tank for a few hours before he was released.

Who hasn’t been arrested for getting drunk on the blood of christ in front of a church? But the thing is, Randy Travis lives in some town called Tiogra, which isn’t far from where the cops got his ass. So why wasn’t Randy getting plastered under his carport like all the Texans I know? Let’s hope that Randy learned a valuable lesson from this. The lesson being that when a trick you met from Grindr (or Craigslist, or from calling a number you found scribbled in front of a urinal in a truck stop bathroom) tells you to meet them in front of the baptist church with a bottle of Chateau Diane, tell them to come to your carport instead!

No, seriously, I had this friend in L.A. who never let the tricks he met online come into his house. He’d meet them in front and then take them into the garage. They’d do their thing on an old futon and then he’d kick them out. His reasoning was that he was too lazy to go to their house and he didn’t want them to come inside his just in case they were thieves. He’d tell them that his dog didn’t like strangers. So there’s your Ho Shit tip of the day! Hopefully, it goes from my blog to Randy’s eyes.

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